"The Californian's Ten Commandments"

       Some might say it's sacrilege; others might say I'm trivializing a profound document; still others might think the list is simply not funny; nevertheless, since I conjured these some years back and just rediscovered them, I thought they had a place in my blog.

       I'm figuring about five a day is all you can bear:

     
       I am the Lord thy God who brought thee out from back East.

       Thou shalt have no other gods before me, with the possible                            exception of the sun and the sea.

       Thou shalt not utter thy mantras and thy primal screams in vain.

       Remember the 3 day ski weekend to keep it holy.

       Honor thy father and mother's space.