"If You Have an Erection . . ."

       I never thought I would hear a sentence on television like the following:  "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, see your doctor."

       Yes, I know it's part of a necessary warning about an advertised medication.  But still . . .

       And willy-nilly, it leads me to start thinking of other clauses that MIGHT have followed "If you have an e. lasting more than etc.":

       "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, congratulations!"

       "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, here's my phone number!"

       "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, put yourself out to stud!"